Sorry, Mom.

This has been a long time coming.

This journey started three years ago when Aaron Gillespie released his first solo worship album, Anthem Song. So many of the words spoke to my heart and I could not stop listening. A few months after the album was released, I spent a week in Antigua, Guatemala on my first mission trip and most of my quiet times were spent meditating on his lyrics.

It was on this trip that I composed and shared my story for the first time (the venue was an orphanage that sheltered mostly teenagers). Vulnerability was at an all-time high and the writing process forced me to look back on where I came from – the good, the bad, and the ugly – and how God was using that for His good. During the revision process, the lyrics of “I Will Worship You” from Aaron’s album stood out to me more and more.

I wrote those lyrics in my journal, accompanied with a small doodle – a plain, solid black anchor – almost identical to the one that is now a permanent fixture on my left wrist.

The song says this to God: when I’m losing, broken, scared, tired, lost, dancing, hopeful, and healed… I will worship You. When life is hard. When it’s unfair. When I am happy, sad, joyful, or hurt.

As the chorus proclaims, God is the anchor of my soul. It is only His love that can make me whole. Because of that, I worship Him.

About Leah Van Ert

Leah is newly wed to her high school sweetheart and is a church secretary by day and blogger by night. She firmly believes in spending a little extra on high-quality cuisine, sleeping in, and the healing power of a good cup of tea. She currently lives in central Wisconsin where she was born and raised (and, yes, the stereotype is true - we really do love cheese).